When Being Social Is No Longer Fun

When Being Social Is No Longer Fun.

Until the early 2000s being social meant hanging out with friends at the local coffee shop. Twenty-five years later there is a whole generation that identifies being social as holding their cell phone.

Anyone remember the Yahoo chat rooms? Man, what a shitshow that was, right? It was the place where you could be anyone you wanted to be. People invented secret universes and lived double lives. It was quirky and for the most part fun. Well…until it wasn’t.

Now we have a plethora of social media platforms and there is nothing private or secret. I remember a client in my former corporate life that asked me if I had joined Facebook. I had no clue what he was referring to at the time. I joined in 2009 and at first it was fantastic!

I began reconnecting with friends from school and family that lived around the country. We shared photos, caught up on our lives and enjoyed the renewed connection. Yahoo chatrooms became obsolete and other social media platforms began to flood cyberspace.

BUT THEN…HUMANS. If you want to make sure everything gets messed up, just let a bunch of humans get involved. It is no wonder religions developed. The Universe knew we were going to need some help from somewhere!

So here we are. A bunch of angry, ill-mannered, depressed, compulsive media addicts spending our days and nights typing with one or two fingers on a screen the size of an index card. People are arguing with one another through an inanimate object when they would never say the same words face-to-face. Families are not speaking; people have parted as friends. 

Was this the goal? Somehow, I think, NO.

How ridiculous have we become? From our news and media outlets to Aunt Jane and Uncle John, no one has manners anymore, and everyone must be right AND heard. 

I do not know about you, but if I could exit social media I would. Alas, I happen to be in the business of creating and sharing words of hope. Therefore, if I want to share my art, the art of others and invite you to read a story or thought, the only way to do it is through social media. Also, I have family and friends spread out all over the place. It’s nice to keep in touch with them through their photos and posts.  Many businesses run entirely through internet channels. I expect many of you to be in a similar conundrum.

So, what do we do?

As you would expect, I have some ideas based on things that have worked for me over the past five years. Disclaimer: What has worked for me may not work for you, so I invite you to explore your own options.

1. Make a list of things you want from social media. 

Are you getting those?

2. Decide on the best platform to meet your needs. 

My personal favorite is Instagram. I only see the things/people that I follow AND I only accept friend requests from very few people that I know. So, when I open my feed all I see is the things I love. Books, art, music, cooking, cats, puppies, goats, positivity, etc. etc. 

3. If your current social media platform is where you want to be, then unfollow all the noise that causes you anxiety. 

You can unfollow (as opposed to unfriend) and the person does not know it. This means that you are still connected to that person, but you do not see their posts in your feed. You will have to go to their direct page to do that. Easy, no hurt feelings and guess what? Your feed is less stressful.

4. Do you follow news outlets or watch the news on your TV? 

If it is causing you stress, why do you continue watching it? Either go cold turkey for 30-days or limit your intake for 15-30 minutes daily. My personal operating system is no news. Guess what? I still know what’s happening even without watching it!

5. Spend time discovering positive things to watch or do. Take up a new hobby, join a book club, invite a friend for coffee. PUT YOUR PHONE DOWN AND DO SOMETHING ELSE.

It will be there when you get back. You can answer all the texts and voicemails. We have become people with a “need to know everything at the exact moment it is happening.” 

This is not healthy folks. Not only are we getting biased opinions on our information, nine times out of ten there is ZERO we can do to change or fix whatever it is. Do not forget that the goal of media outlets is money and number of eyes on content….so everything is sensationalized. If that was not the case, we’d get the facts and nothing else.

Okay, so what CAN we change?

We can start by helping those we encounter and pray for the rest. That’s it. We have zero control over what happens in Washington D.C. and even our state, but we can affect what happens right here in my/your life, with people I/you meet each day. 

If you are a person who cannot spend time alone or must be in the know constantly, I encourage you to STOP. Figure out why. Are you one of the people making too much noise? What is being accomplished? Are you spreading love and hope or anger and hate?

Dear friends, if you answer yes to the above, I worry that you are making life harder than it has to be. Life is so fleeting, and we all deserve a little peace and fun. Things are tough enough as it is. We must learn to center ourselves and develop the skills to oneness so that when the storms of life hit, we have an anchor. Fox News, MSNBC, Facebook, and TikTok are NOT our anchors.

If social media is no longer fun, then change it. Now, if you will excuse me, I have some cats at a rescue in Ohio that I need to watch.